The feeling of contentment started to leave about 2 weeks ago. I started feeling unsettled. Lonely. Sad. Anxious. Small.
I started thinking about paint colors. Plantation shutters. Counter tops. Jetted tubs. And 2 or 3 car garages.
Frustrated that the closing on our home in McAlester had not happened... and being in a state of limbo in our temporary home... It all started to catch up with me.
My sighs have been heavy. My neck and shoulders tense. I noticed that my answers have been harsh. My patience thin... and my fist tightly clenched.
I crawled into bed tonight- and I heard that voice. The small one. The one that will speak.
IF and only IF we listen. I heard him say:
In my presence there is fullness of joy.
Presence.
Joy.
His presence... is. Everywhere. He is almighty. He is omniscient. He. Is. All. Over. The. Place.
I do not exist where he is not.
He is all around me. In this moment. In. This. Place. The place I'm wishing would hurry by. The place that doesn't seem settled. Where everything in my life... Our life... Seems undone.
He is here. His presence is here.
And if his presence is here... So is his fullness of joy.
It is impossible to feel joy and feel sorrow at the same time.
I will chose joy. I will chose this moment. Because he is here. His presence is here.
And... so is his joy.
Oh, that voice... that beautiful, fearful voice... the journey to contentment is one that is difficult for me as well. I am thankful for the 1000 gifts helping me to keep present in the day to day, finding him amid the chaos, lies and discontented heart.
ReplyDelete"It is impossible to feel joy and feel sorrow at the same time."
Perfectly said. Thank you for your post.
Well said! I'm so thankful to be able to call you my friend!!
ReplyDeleteSo I know I've already commented, but I found this from a Bible Study many years ago and thought of you:
ReplyDeletePrescription for Contentment:
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything, not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
3. Never compare your lot with others.
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
5. Never dwell on tomorrow. Tomorrow is God's, not ours.
Misty- I am so thankful for you and your family. You all bring such joy to our lives!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the Prescription for Contentment! What practical truths we should apply to our lives!
Love you so much!